Eric Adams Crypto Wallet Update: Oh No!

This has been a dark week for cryptocurrencies, with Bitcoin losing a quarter of its value in a matter of days, as larger shifts in the stock market have reverberated even louder among the echoing recesses of what was once a crowded virtual market. As a sovereign nation attempts to buy the dip, some cryptocurrencies are going belly-up, and with it, taking all the Apes.

Which brings us to the crypto wallet of our own crypto-boosting leader, Mayor Eric Adams. Based on our previous estimate, he had taken a very small loss on his investment of converting his first three paychecks to crypto (and encouraging others to do the same). Really, a small price to pay for embracing the technology of the future, and keeping New York City at the forefront of speculative, unsecured investment.

So how's Mayor Adams doing this week?

Welp.

Using our baseline math from last week (we didn't take out deductions, or taxes) the mayor has now lost 22 percent of what he invested in Bitcoin (BTC), and 25 percent of what he invested in Ethereum (ETH). That's not a great ROI for the mayor, but who are we to dispense financial advice? (Here's where we legally have to say that we are not dispensing financial advice, etc.)

But Adams remains undeterred! Reached for comment from Hell Gate, a City Hall spokesperson told us that "Mayor Adams believes cryptocurrency and blockchain technologies can play a key role in promoting an equitable recovery and building wealth in underserved communities throughout our city."

When pressed by Hell Gate on why the mayor would continue to push financial advice to "underserved communities" that would have them lose a quarter of their own paychecks, the spokesperson did not respond.

Of course, there's lots we don’t really know about the financial holdings of the mayor, and what might be compelling him to prop up certain currencies or ideas. We don't know what else he's invested in, and, despite vague statements, he still has not released his tax returns.  

We do have one piece of financial advice for the mayor however. Again, this isn't actual financial advice, FEC… or hehe, maybe it is! (Editor’s Note: It’s not.) Buy Hell Apes. They're the only true "Stablecoin" in the crypto-sphere. Our apes are already in hell! Nowhere else to go!