You can't fight City Hall, but you can ask it for food assistance, or to clean up a mess someone else made on your block, or to remove a dangerously parked vehicle, or to provide heat and hot water in the apartment you rent from the City, who is your landlord. And City Hall is supposed to deliver—in theory.

Apparently, Mayor Eric Adams is not happy with how City agencies are serving New Yorkers, so his "chief efficiency officer" is going to create a "secret shopper program." Politico has more:

Behind the scenes, Adams' chief efficiency officer—a position he created in April — has been working with five staffers and nearly $1 million to loosen bureaucratic knots and demand better performance out of agencies that are operating with reduced staff. To press the issue, efficiency czar Melanie La Rocca is piloting a yet-to-be-reported "secret shopper" operation where New Yorkers track their interactions with 15 agencies and report their findings and frustrations. City officials said they plan to expand it to all agencies.

Given that many City agencies are operating with near 20 percent vacancy rates, and the City's workforce is the most depleted it's been since 2008, this is kind of like sending secret shoppers into that grocery store in "The Mist." Sure, there are still cans of chickpeas on the shelves, and probably some turkey in the freezer, but no one is going to clean up that rack of Ragu that spilled on aisle six, because aisle six is where people go to squat and cry. Aisle five is now a daycare center/infirmary. Aisle nine is where people hype themselves up to maybe venture outside but oh god, this is so bad, please why is this mist here? Grandpa, give me that knife. Give me the knife. Thank you.

Just how dire is the "store" these days? Check out this chart that NYC Comptroller Brad Lander issued last month:

One way to get improved service from City Hall in the coming weeks and months might be to tell the 311 operator that your name is "S. Shopper." 

But a better way to improve service for all New Yorkers? A budget that actually funds the government, that treats City workers with dignity, and that has the goal of actually filling positions, not keeping them vacant and then wondering why services might not be up to snuff.

You can find links for your Wednesday on aisle 12: 

• The Adams administration is refusing to turn over data requested by AOC and other House Dems on conditions at Rikers Island. Nothing to see, obviously.

• Mayor Adams clearly has more important things to do, such as throwing the most insufferable dinner parties. 

• Meanwhile, over in Albany, Governor Hochul is still refusing to back down from her choice of Hector LaSalle to lead the Court of Appeals. Kathy, give it up! Focus on the state budget instead! 
• Speaking of Hochul, she doesn't support the move to repeal qualified immunity for police officers. Via the Daily News: "At first, the governor said she would 'not give a straight answer' on the issue before adding that she doesn't 'support the repeal of that, no.' 'What I do support is stopping the denigration of people who take an oath to protect society,' Hochul said. 'Again, they cross the line, you make an example because communities need to know they can trust law enforcement to not cross that line, that’s important to me.'" 
• Who funded George Santos's campaign? Not Santos, according to an updated FEC filing. "I have never been this confused looking at an FEC filing," Jordan Libowitz, a spokesman for Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington, told the New York Times. Same, Jordan!
• You know things have to be bad when a landlord is sent to Rikers for being a terrible landlord. 
• Robert Hadden, the Manhattan gynecologist who was accused by 19 of his patients of sexual assault, was convicted on Tuesday. 
• Turns out making it easier for parents and caregivers of small children to ride buses is a good thing, huh.
• Chalkbeat reports on the ongoing battle between teachers and a principal at Park Slope's MS 51. 
• A ferris wheel might be coming for Harlem. 
• Hmm, I'm beginning to think the "influencer economy" is a grift. And crypto too, but not to Rep. Ritchie Torres who continues to stan even in the year of our lord 2023.
• Uhhh…
• This profile of the NYT's Pamela Paul is a soothing balm on my weary soul. 
• RIP, Victor Navasky. 
• Thank god someone finally bought Bernie Madoff's former Hamptons estate, I was beginning to be worried for Vornado Realty Trust CEO Steve Roth.