On Sunday afternoon, the New York Knickerbockers put an exclamation point atop their four-game sweep of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, besting the Philadelphia 76ers by 30 points, 144-114. By the second half, the Knicks were leading by almost 50 points, so at the start of the fourth quarter, Knicks head coach Mike Brown pulled his starters and subbed in a group of players that, four weeks ago, I was only vaguely aware even existed.
unfinished business. pic.twitter.com/oXbQIiutOu
— NEW YORK KNICKS (@nyknicks) May 10, 2026
"This is an absolutely ubiquitous standard practice," said my boyfriend as I wrote this. Maybe for other basketball teams, but over the last several years, the "Cardiac Knicks" have been a team that takes games down to the wire, with their starters essentially never sitting down. In the last few weeks though, the Knicks have been completely smearing courts with blood (metaphorically speaking), so head coach and Pro-Starting Lineup Relaxation King Mike Brown has gotten to introduce fans to a whole new world of Guys. Several of said Guys also play on the Westchester Knicks, a developmental expansion team in the NBA's G League, from which the regular NBA Knicks can rotate in the most promising players for situations such as this one, before rotating them back onto the Westchester Knicks for improvement and floor time. (Westchester's season is over, so they literally have nowhere else to go.)
Because we are going to destroy whomever we meet in the Eastern Conference Finals—the stupid-ass Cleveland Claviculars, or the number-one seeded Detroit Shitstains, who I cannot totally hate on because they once employed my favorite player Rasheed Wallace—it seems like the time to learn who some of these superheroes are, because you're going to be seeing them a lot more as we wipe the fucking floor with our rivals and win a motherfucking RING.
(NOTE TO THE GODS: I AM JUST TALKING SHIT, PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW THESE WORDS TO JINX IT.)