The Real Housewives of New York City Are Really Tanking on Reddit

I've complained about this before and I'll complain about it again—I actively dislike the reboot of "The Real Housewives of New York City," the show that I am obligated to re-cap. The allure of Jenna Lyons, the only woman who had any normie clout before this show started, has worn thin; the girls don't fight effectively; everybody's traumatized, nobody's messy, and nobody's funny.

Even worse, I hate that I can't talk in-depth about this show with anyone I know, because I have yet to speak to a friend who's actually watched every episode so far. And I get it. I really, really get it. Why keep up with mediocre television week-to-week, unless, just as an example, in July you promised your co-workers that you'd recap every episode of this season and they won't let you out of your commitment even though you've tried to drop it multiple times? [Ed. Note: These requests remain "under consideration."]

I mean, I'm not posting on Real Housewives Subreddits (I SWEAR), but I am nodding along from home. 

Like many other people who are taking the time to tune in to the new RHONY, I'm watching other franchises at the same time as this one—going to Salt Lake City watch parties, and binging old seasons of RHONY when I'm hungover. And I'm not the only one who's irritated by the gulf in quality. "I thought I was starting to kind of sort of like RHONY and then I started SLC and I was like wait, this is sooo good lol. What a housewives show is supposed to be!" wrote one user under a thread titled "I’m starting to find this new RHONY cast insufferable." "When they sat around the table and said 'let’s play a game and share our favorite outfit we wore' I booed so loud," another wrote. "I recently did a rewatch of the old NY [episodes] and dear God they’re so amazing. Idk if these ladies will ever get to that level even years into it. It was truly the best franchise I’ve ever seen in my whole life. Usually there’s a few really good seasons but Ny has SOOO MANY GOOD ONES I don’t think it can ever be beat," said someone else, taking the words right out of my mouth.

It's just comforting to know that I'm not crazy. Or, I don't know—I'm obviously crazy for being so invested in an extended TV universe of deranged, rich women that I suggested writing about this show like fifteen fucking times. [Ed. note: We took Katie at her word and are holding her to it.] But at least I'm not alone in growing extremely tired of this. 

Aaaaaand this week the girls aren't alone either, because they're still on their trip with each other in Anguilla, and Erin Lichy and Ubah Hassan are still fighting about the former stealing the latter woman's phone. Hassan retaliates by stealing Lichy's sunglasses off of her face and holding onto them for 45 very tense minutes—the same amount of time Lichy apparently held on to Hassan's phone—while the girls visit a beachside bar. Eventually, everyone yells at Lichy in a hot tub about what a bad person she is, and then the group forgives her after she breaks down and cries. 

"This is the first conflict I've had with her," Lichy says of Hassan in a confessional. "And it's the worst conflict I've ever had in my life." A four-hour fight over a prank gone wrong is the worst fight a RHONY cast member has ever had in her life? I remember when Ramona Singer made Bethenny Frankel cry on season three of RHONY while they were walking across the Brooklyn Bridge by saying, "At least I have friends, you have no friends. Who are your friends? You have nobody in your life. Right now you have Jason [Frankel's then-fiancé]. You'll probably mess that up too," in a six-second span, apropos of nothing. They weren't even in a real fight, and they hung out normally with cast member Alex McCord and her weird husband immediately after, and that is a billion times meaner than taking someone's sunglasses. Jesus Christ! This show has gone to the dogs. 

Most authentic New York City moment: Jenna missing the hot tub drama to work remotely

OK, this moment did kind of make me laugh, because I haven't been on a group vacation with New Yorkers since 2020 that did not involve someone having to do some work at the function. New Year's Eve 2021? On-call at the big tech company. A week at the beach? A week of Zoom meetings and blogging near the beach. I went to a techno festival in the woods two weeks ago and someone on-boarded for a new job from a nearby Dunkin Donuts. New Yorkers—we're shackled to our jobs! So, when Jenna Lyons was stooped over her laptop in a backless dress while the rest of the girls bickered in bikinis outside, I was like, haha. Yeah. That's real.

Least authentic New York City moment: The fact that Sai's former bartending gig hasn't come up until right now

When Lichy and Hassan are making things tense at Elvis' Beach Bar (which looked fun!), Sai De Silva took the opportunity to show off some skills she'd garnered from her time as a bartender and poured the cast members a bunch of Fireball shots. It's totally plausible that, in a group of six beautiful women who've lived in New York City long term, one of them will have spent time bartending. What isn't realistic is the fact that she's failed to mention it until now. Maybe it's because some of the key cast members, Lyons and Hassan, don't drink, so there haven't been a ton of chances for her to whip out her shaker. But this season has featured a ton of talk about these women's past lives, and people who used to work service jobs and don't anymore love talking about this shit. And I would know because I experienced that a lot when I, by the way, worked at an Italian restaurant when I was in college I don't know if you know that about me but it was a really fun yet humbling experience I mean the hospitality culture is just—