On Saturday afternoon, a few hours before the New York Knicks tipped off the game that would bring them their first championship in 53 years, I was completely surrounded by Knicks fans. This is a likely scenario for a diehard Knicks fan to find oneself, except I was in San Antonio, Texas, strolling along the restaurants and bars of its famed Riverwalk. The drowsy Texas tourist trap (which is honestly quite nice!) had been turned into an impromptu Knicks pre-game festival, likely to the chagrin of Texans.
A dude walked by in a Knicks cowboy hat and jersey, blasting '90s hip-hop from a handheld speaker. Westchester bros dapped each other up, shouting "Knicks in five!" A Sikh family from New Jersey decked out in Knicks gear ran into another group of Sikh Knicks fans from Connecticut (wearing blue and orange turbans, of course), leading one of them to stand up and show off his T-shirt—it was Jalen Brunson wearing a turban (custom-made by his nephew, "Turban Outfitters," he joked).
"I'm fucking losing it," I texted one of my Knicks group chats, unable to comprehend the blissful absurdity of seeing a sea of blue and orange jerseys 1,800 miles away from Madison Square Garden.
As I sat in the shade and sipped a michelada, the spicy tang of tomato juice and cold beer deepened my sweet, near-somnolence. The stress of the playoffs had evaporated, my hives had gone away—yes, I got hives earlier in the Finals—and even though the 12 hours prior to this moment had been arduous, I suddenly found both peace and calm, here in the shadow of the Alamo.
But as I got up to walk towards my rental car just a few blocks away, reality hurtled towards me in the form of a murdered-out Chevy Tahoe. The car came to a screeching halt in front of me as the window rolled down. I knew I was about to get got.
"Fuck you pussy piece of shit!," a guy wearing a sheisty and a Spurs jersey said, as he hurled an egg towards my bare shoulders. There was no time to react. I realized the embryo was frozen as it hit my upper arm, then exploded all over my Metta World Peace Knicks jersey.
What was I doing here?