Apparently nothing will stop Jacob Garlick from trying to buy the Flatiron Building—not even Jacob Garlick's own actions or apparent lack of funds. 

A new report from the Real Deal dropped a bombshell: Garlick, the Northern Virginia-based venture fund manager who fully whiffed on producing the $19 million down payment for the Flatiron Building after winning it in a public auction, "maintains he's still in the running to buy the property." Wow! He's so confident. 

Believe it or not, it gets better. Per the Real Deal, after Garlick won the auction for the historic property, he reached out to the man he stupendously outbid, former Flatiron co-owner Jeff Gural, and asked Gural if he wanted to go in on buying the building with Garlick. 

"It was such a ridiculous proposal. It concerned me. It was a red flag that he didn't have the money," Gural told the publication. 

Here's the thing—I understand where Garlick is coming from. In fact, the further we dive into this story, the more the 31-year-old man rises in my esteem. He's just like the rest of us: making promises he can't quite deliver, networking in a situation where it's not really appropriate, having a weird relationship with one of his cousins…because, oh yeah, one of the Flatiron Building's other former co-owners, Nathan Silverstein, confirmed to the Real Deal that Garlick is his "distant relative." 

He's basically doing exactly what I would do if I accidentally bought the Flatiron Building—scrambling to save face while being clearly and totally fucked. It's awesome. 

Jacob, if you see this blog post, please, I implore you, reach out to us. I think we could have a lot of fun talking shop—deals, DJ sets, old buildings, whatever you want!  And if you're interested in making any other big investments, I know an awesome worker-owned, subscriber-funded publication that covers New York City news and culture that I'd love to tell you all about. (Cash up front, though.)