Skip to Content

Boy This New NYC Congressional District Sure Looks Like a Dong (Or a T-Rex?)

The "special master" has spoken, and many Democratic incumbents would be forced to compete.

9:19 PM EDT on May 16, 2022

An image of the new redistricting with the "offensive" district blacked out

By scrolling down you affirm to Hell Gate that you are 1) 18+ and 2) Love politics

On Monday, a court-appointed expert released new maps for New York's congressional districts, and they are about as "sensational" as a batch of draft political maps can be.

The road to how we got here is fraught with the kind of slapstick dysfunction that is a baked-in feature of New York state government. (The "independent" panel made up of Democrats and Republicans who were supposed to draw these lines failed; subsequent Democrat-drawn maps, which were shockingly kind to Democrats, were tossed; the Court of Appeals ordered them redrawn; the primary is in August.)

But the upshot is that eight of these 26 new districts drawn by "special master" Jonathan Cervas would be competitive in a general election. And some new districts would result in some spicy primaries!

For instance, Representative Jerrold Nadler and Representative Carolyn Maloney, two long-tenured, high-ranking House Democrats, would have to compete with one another to represent the same constituents, as Cervas committed an act of geographic and cultural profanity by glomming together the West and East Sides of Manhattan, like some kind of mad (political) scientist.

Democratic incumbents are pissed.

This is all truly fascinating, City & State and Gothamist have stories about it, and Dave's Redistricting, a gem of citizen-backed transparency, has interactive versions of the drafts up on their site.

But other questions nagged us here at Hell Gate. Among them: Doesn't NY-10 look like a dong?

Not to get too gross here, but...cmon now. (screenshot)
Not to get too gross here, but...cmon now. (screenshot)

Others thought it looked more like a Tyrannosaurus Rex...or...this thing that Esther drew that...kind of resembles Barney the Dinosaur?


I enjoy the "Cleanup Song" just as much as anyone who has a sibling born in the early 1990s, but I'm having a tough time seeing a T-Rex here.

You know they're STILL making Jurassic Park movies?
You know they're STILL making Jurassic Park movies?

Okay, yeah, here we go, here's that crazy-ass T-Rex we know and love. ROARRRRR, I EAT GERRYMANDERING!

Still others like our resident mycologist Nick Pinto thought it was more like a mushroom, which initially I couldn't see but now I cannot unsee.

Who do you think is gonna run for this fungus?
Who do you think is gonna run for this fungus?

If you feel strongly about how these maps will impact New York's congressional delegation, the public can still submit testimony by Wednesday, before the final versions are due on Friday, May 20.

Also, the 5th District looks like New Jersey, right? [Ed: Personally the 5th District looks like a child in a Victorian-era nightgown running away from the ghost of his great-grandmother who was killed by her husband but who am I to say...]

Already a user?Log in

Thanks for reading!

Give us your email address to keep reading two more articles for free

See all subscription options

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter

More from Hell Gate

Queens Casino Debates Return: Will Jessica Ramos Be the Immovable Object to Steve Cohen’s Unstoppable Force?

Both Ramos and Cohen ultimately have only one weapon, and it’s the power to scuttle the other’s plans.

November 28, 2023

With NYC in a Housing Crisis, Adams Administration Takes Bold Step of Removing Bureaucratic Hurdles So Developers Can Build More Casinos

The administration doesn't want to gamble with a casino developer's shot at a NYC gambling house, and more links for your Tuesday.

November 28, 2023

Report: New York Won’t Meet Its 2030 Climate Goals

But there’s still a way to turn away from the abyss, if we want it.

November 27, 2023
See all posts