While there were many worthy contenders in Hell Gate’s 2025 March Madness of Hot Takes Bracket, only one can be crowned champion. Congratulations to the 13-seed pick that came from the bottom to snatch the crown: "There is a hot mayoral candidate…but it's not the one you're thinking of ;)."
Does the objectification of politicians make you mad? Have you spewed your coffee across your keyboard because we didn't pick the take about biking to the beach? Please read on. And if you disagree, feel free to take it up with us in the comments.
Incisive, hard-hitting journalism comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable, and a truly hot take makes the political candidates you're supposed to be covering just a little uncomfortable. That's why we came to the decision that this year, there could only be one March Madness victor: the take that there is a five-alarm smoking mayoral candidate, but not the obvious one.
Let's get this out of the way: We're not talking about Queens Assemblymember Zohran Mamdani. His comms team knows what he's got and are, understandably, workin' it. I mean, he's a DSA-endorsed elected official—running beautiful people to make the medicine of socialism go down easier is pretty much their whole thing.
Valentine’s Day is coming up and I’ve been thinking about our future… pic.twitter.com/RjsI6yo7RL
— Zohran Kwame Mamdani (@ZohranKMamdani) February 6, 2025
But here at Hell Gate, we're not about obvious answers—we're about creativity and forging our own path. And in some ways, this is less of a take and more of a Rorschach test. Who you think we're talking about depends on your own set of predilections, you nasty freak!