The Weed Bodega Crackdown Has Finally Started…Right?

The status of New York City's supposed crackdown on weed bodegas might seem obvious to anyone who has recently taken a walk outside—virtually non-existent. But, ladies and gentlemen, they finally got one: As a result of the joint efforts of Eric Adams, Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, and the NYPD, Runtz Smoke Shop is closed for business, pending a hearing later this month. Huzzah! Law and order triumphs once again. 

One might reasonably ask, how is one closure a win for the City when all the powers that be promised to eradicate unlicensed shops to pave the way for legal weed? Because so far, according to Adams, law enforcement was limited to issuing fines and criminal court summonses. That changed back in early February. "It is time for the operation of unlicensed cannabis dispensaries to end," DA Bragg said, when he announced his office would now be using its civil authority to compel landlords to evict their smoke shop tenants. 

That same day, a judge issued nuisance abatement lawsuits aimed at shutting down four smoke shops in the East Village, including Runtz, after the establishments sold weed to baby cops, or—to use the more technical term—the NYPD's "underage auxiliary officers." 

But according to a report from the CITY, the only weed bodega that's actually closed for business as a result of these lawsuits is Runtz, whose owners and employees are presumably subject to some kind of curse—the last time Runtz made the news was when armed robbers stole thousands of dollars from the store back in August, just ten days after it opened. On its front door, as of March 2, neon signage emblazoned with the NYPD logo declares it partially closed by court order and subject to a restraining order. 

The other three East Village smoke shops—Broadway, Saint Marks Convenience & Smoke Shop, and Sogie Mart Rolls & Puff—are apparently still open for business in spite of the lawsuits and the looming threat of eviction. Per the CITY, the four nuisance abatement lawsuits from February are still the only ones that have been filed so far. (We have reached out to the Manhattan DA's office, the NYPD, the City's Law Department, and City Hall to find out if any more lawsuits have been filed and whether any other businesses have been forced to close as a result.)

And so, the lights wink off in one unlicensed pot shop as its owners await their day in court, set for later this month. Still, New Yorkers who are determined to avoid the city's three licensed dispensaries—Housing Works Cannabis Co., Smacked Village, and Union Square Travel Agency, which Bloomberg noted are all within 3,000 feet of each other—don't have a ton to worry about. According to the New York sheriff's office, there are around 1,400 other options to choose from.

After you pour one out for Runtz, some reading material: 

• A "special assistant" to Eric Adams isn't special enough to dodge a lawsuit for $55,000 that he owes in campaign finance violations.
• And the job market isn't so bad when you're Frank Carone, Adams's former chief of staff who has a taste for real estate.
• Surprise surprise—the Eric Adams blueprint for housing NYC asylum seekers is vague as hell. And the mayor's retail theft plan is so great that retail theft is already down, even though his office has yet to release any details about the plan whatsoever.
• Meanwhile up in Albany, Governor Hochul wants to roll back bail reform in the spirit of "fairness."
• Huh, I guess Good Cause Eviction is on her "list of things NOT to do."

• And hey Hochul, come and take it (my blue raspberry-flavored ELFBAR).
• George Santos's personal lawyer is an ex-NYPD cop who posted a lot of really interesting stuff before and after January 6, 2021.
• Have you ever loved anything as much as this lawyer who's banned from Madison Square Garden loves the Knicks?
• Cardi, what would Bernie say about your performance at an NYPD event?
• Please stop biking so fast on the Prospect Park Loop. It's scary.
• Three former Rikers COs are facing up to 10 years in prison for cashing in on sick leave while people detained at the jail complex suffered and died.
• Oh shit, Gene Hackman went outside.