A week ago today, Coney Island beachgoers were suddenly hit with what can only be described as a Darude "Sandstorm." With just a whisper of notice, building almost imperceptibly, within 30 seconds the sky was dark with swirling sand. Paper plates spun into the ocean like CDs, beach chairs and umbrellas went flying, and families fought their way back to their cars against an onslaught of silt like heroic Berlin technoravers marching defiantly to the beat in the year 2000.
I wasn't there that day, but I have experienced many New York City beach trips that have ended in a Darude moment. I am someone who—having decided to go to the beach, thoughtfully packed my bag, and trekked the hour-plus to get there on public transport—will grit my teeth through most weather patterns once I have established my spot.
However, a sandstorm is one of the more difficult conditions in which to pretend you are not having a miserable time. As the sand whips into every bite of every sandwich, nay, every orifice, you are forced to hold down your towel by its edges while random shit is blowing at you like missiles.
The only good thing about a sandstorm, frankly, is the opportunity it presents to revisit Finnish producer Darude's 2000 trance masterpiece, "Sandstorm." The banger went platinum in five countries (triple-platinum in New Zealand!), became a go-to streaming soundtrack for gamers, cemented itself in internet culture as a meme (whenever someone asks what song is playing, you say "Sandstorm"), and was last year ranked 65 on Billboard's "100 Best Dance Songs of All Time." (With a little digging, you'll find that the track was not, in fact, named after a sandstorm at all, but after the first preset that shows up when you turn on the Roland JP-8080 synth—the synth Darude used to produce that iconic melody.)
Thus, to save you the shame—frankly—of having to pack up and leave the beach mid-jaunt, I present two options. One, avoid the sandstorm altogether (I asked a meteorologist what to know about NYC sandstorms and how to dodge them). Or two, load up Darude on the Bluetooth speaker and meditate on the sandstorm to "Sandstorm" (I asked the meteorologist to do this, as well).
Dominic Ramuni, a meteorologist at the National Weather Service in New York, said last week's Coney Island sandstorm was caused by offshore winds, and was not the same kind of sandstorm you might see in the middle of a desert, although Darude can be played for either situation. "I don't know if there's necessarily a hard definition for a sandstorm, more than just sort of sand blown around in the air," he said.