Our 10 Best Guesses for Mayor Adams’s New Plan for the NYPD Robot

The NYPD's Knightscope K5 robot was rolled out to great fanfare last September, when Mayor Eric Adams said it would someday patrol the subway system, just like its flesh-and-blood brothers in blue. Then, heartbreak. Earlier this month, the NYPD pulled the K5 from active duty, citing the end of the robot's pilot program. But now? Hope.

At his weekly media availability on Tuesday, Mayor Adams told reporters that he wasn't done with the K5—not yet.

"The K5 is, you know, we have another plan that I want to do with the K5," Adams said. "I don't want to roll it out yet. But we still see there's a use of using robotics and technology. I'm a big believer in this. We have to really see how do we use robotics and technology to run our city more efficiently."

Hell Gate asked members of our subsidiary, Hell Gate Labs, to run some complex algorithms to produce some strong hypotheses about what the K5's next assignment might be. Without further ado:

10. Parking spot holder

9. Hype man. When Eric Adams walks into a room, the K5 plays "New York State of Mind," waves its robot arms wildly, and yells "NEW YORK CITY MAKE SOME NOIIIIIIIIISE!"

8. Senior Deputy Mayor for Social Media and Artificial Intelligence

7. Times Square selfie character, with all proceeds going to restore Sunday library service

6. Cold-water hot dog vendor

5. Someone has to get the princess's secret message to Obi Wan.

4. Just park it in a bike lane somewhere.

3. Legally speaking, the K5 is the real mayor who accepts all process of service.

2. Gracie Mansion Roomba

1. Cyber

And here are some more stories to take you boldly into the future:

• Speaking of technology, the NYPD is in fact going to use drones to try and prevent people from drowning at NYC beaches this summer.
• More details are emerging on the DOB's sudden closure of Greenpoint metal venue Saint Vitus over the weekend.
• You'll soon have a much better view of the filth in every subway station.
• Rent stabilization is safe (for now).
• One in four children in New York City now lives in poverty.
• The Post continues to freak out about the City potentially giving migrant families up to $15,000 a year in benefits. Reminder: A family of four making $44,000 a year is considered below the poverty threshold.
• And Donald Trump owes more than $80,000 in interest on his judgements every day so what even is money?
• Why was there a human leg found on the subway tracks in the Bronx? Do you REALLY want to know?
• A New York City woman who filed the city's first revenge porn lawsuit against her ex has won in court.
• An NYPD lieutenant who appears to have beaten up a suspect on video looks like a real peach.
• New York state is number one in the country for sports betting.
• So much for being Christ-like.
• Mayor Adams's former chief of staff and Table of Success member Frank Carone is registering as a lobbyist (lol) along with members of his consulting firm.
• I'm sorry New Jersey but 64 foods is too many foods.

And finally, you didn't think the K5 was the only piece of NYPD propaganda that Mayor Adams would show some love to, did you?