A member of the current mayoral administration was recently quoted as saying, "When they go low? We drill for oil." 

And when people go low against Knicks owner James Dolan? Dolan hires a team of engineers to build working replicas of the asteroid drills in "Armageddon" to carve a path to the center of the earth, builds a stage made of magma, and charges $76.88 (plus $46.44 in fees) to watch him play harmonica.

The weekend after Thanksgiving, Kelly Conlon thought she could take her daughter and her Girl Scout troop to the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall. When she attempted to enter, she was stopped by the venue's facial recognition technology. 

According to NBC New York, Conlon had been blacklisted, because she's a member of a New Jersey-based law firm that is involved in personal injury litigation against a Madison Square Garden Entertainment property. Dolan owns MSG Entertainment, and has been blacklisting attorneys at his venues across town.

"It was pretty simultaneous, I think, to me, going through the metal detector, that I heard over an intercom or loudspeaker," she told NBC New York. "I heard them say woman with long dark hair and a grey scarf."

"I believe they said that our recognition picked you up," Conlon said.

A sign says facial recognition is used as a security measure to ensure safety for guests and employees. Conlon says she posed no threat, but the guards still kicked her out with the explanation that they knew she was an attorney.

"They knew my name before I told them. They knew the firm I was associated with before I told them. And they told me I was not allowed to be there," said Conlon.

An MSG spokesperson admitted to NBC that Conlon had been bounced but defended the practice: "While we understand this policy is disappointing to some, we cannot ignore the fact that litigation creates an inherently adverse environment."

Inspired by this intoxicating mixture of spite, technology, and good old fashioned humbug (banned from the Christmas Spectacular!) Hell Gate is proud to announce that anyone who has done the following things will not be permitted to enter the Hell Ape Exchange Arena (HAX Arena) in 2023:

You failed to properly link to and cite Hell Gate's coverage (editors AND reporters will be barred, unfortunately, because we cannot ignore that journalism creates an inherently adverse environment).

You honked the horn of your car, for any reason. This is vile behavior, and we can't have you here, sorry.

You attempted to unionize Hell Gate. You know who you are. Banned.

You dressed your dog up in a costume for Halloween. Unacceptable.

You said mean things about our Foghat cover band, FogHell. Banned.

You tried to give us a hug when you saw us crying at the coffee shop. No refunds.

You made our milkshake but it tasted funny but when we said we knew you were trying to poison us you said no you weren't and then proved it, humiliating us, which was an act of aggression.

You defeated us in the fishing contest by hiding three 16" bass up your sleeves.

You betrayed us in a game of strategy and deception played in a Slack channel by coastal media elites.

You included us in your "Reasons to Love New York" issue but didn't put us on the cover.

You included our tweet in the "Reasons to Love New York" letters section without proper remuneration.

You laughed at us when we came onstage with our famous friend but not the way we wanted you to laugh at us.

You instigated a debilitating run on Hell Apes in a cutthroat bid to pump your own crypto-collectible, RoboGoats.

You screenshotted our Hell Apes.

Some links:

• Remember that publicity stunt Mayor Adams and his NYPD chief Keechant Sewell held in August, the one where they pushed for rollbacks to bail reforms by highlighting ten supposed "career criminals" they called "the worst of the worst"? Well, it not only turns out that none of the ten people were affected by bail reforms, a new lawsuit is alleging that the NYPD broke the law by releasing information about people's arrests that should be sealed.
• And now Adams wants to slash the discretionary funds given to City Council members—money that is often doled out to nonprofits in each district—by half, using the continuing arrival of asylum seekers as an excuse. Adams told the Post, "We sent out a letter today to the Speaker, asking the City Council members to take a 50 percent cut in their discretionary dollars, because many of them are, you know, talking about what we need to be doing to help the migrant seekers—so they need to help also." Meanwhile, the City is about to get a substantial influx of cash from the federal government precisely to help support asylum seekers, so what exactly is happening here?
• Read this fascinating profile of an attorney in the City's Law Department who was often tasked with defending NYPD officers accused of misconduct, until he himself was falsely arrested.
• An armed MTA security guard shot an unarmed man after he began arguing with them and another MTA worker, and followed them out of the station.
• Turns out turning over City-owned land to a parking garage operator maybe isn't the best idea.
• Two New Yorkers were charged with...working with hackers in Russia in a scheme targeting...the city's yellow taxi drivers?
• Much like GRRM, Robert Caro will NOT be bullied by his legions of fans!
• But here's some good news for Mets fans.
• And finally, here's some nice drama in Bedford, NY, involving Richard Gere, the parents of Rooney and Kate Mara, Jerry Seinfeld's sister, and a cell phone tower.