So, Long Island Republican Representative George Santos apparently embellishes his biographical details from time to time—things like his name, his high school and college alma maters, his employment history, and his ethnicity. So, he allegedly swiped a donor credit card or two in order to make donations to other campaigns and buy himself a little designer clothing while he was at it—the latest chapter in what is again, allegedly, a storied career of fraud long enough to fill a book that also includes identity theft and founding a fake dog charity.
I'm sorry: Can't a congressman and his staffers have fun anymore? Or is that "illegal" now, too?
In spite of the fact that many of these…let's say…details emerged before Santos was even sworn into office, and two different votes to expel Santos from Congress, led by both Democrats and Republicans, have ended in failure in the House, the persecution continues. There's a House Ethics Committee report whose next steps are slated to be announced on or before Friday that could decide Santos's political fate—although some of his Republican colleagues have suggested that Santos is a little too important to the party's numbers game to lose over something as minor as alleged constant, criminal levels of deceit.
Then, on Tuesday, 27-year-old Samuel Miele, an aide in the congressman's 2021 campaign pled guilty to one count of wire fraud in federal court—the second campaign staffer, after former Santos treasurer Nancy Marks, to plead guilty to fraud charges.
Marks, who pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to defraud the United States, admitted to falsifying loans to inflate Santos's campaign donation numbers in order to legitimize him as a candidate in the eyes of the Republican party and give him access to those sweet, sweet party resources.
Miele, for his part, admitted to misappropriating donors' credit card information, which he was charged for, as well as soliciting a $470,000 donation to Santos's campaign from an "older man" and impersonating a staffer for former Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy, which he was mysteriously not charged for—an ominous sign that Miele could testify in some of the 23 federal felony charges Santos is currently facing. Those include—deep breath in—multiple counts of wire fraud and making false statements, plus aggravated identity theft, access device fraud, conspiracy to commit offenses against the United States, falsification of a document or record, theft of public funds, and unlawful money transactions for various offenses allegedly committed within and outside of his congressional campaign.
A lesser politician might fold under this kind of pressure and scrutiny, from the press, the feds, and his own peers in Congress. But, thank God, the white noise of doubt and skepticism hasn't hobbled our allegedly truth-agnostic hero. He's still doing the things he loves the most: posting in support of Israel, wearing a sweater under a blazer, and, most of all, holding hard-to-identify babies while at work. At the end of the day, you can't keep a good man down.
Some 100 percent true stories (as far as we know!) for you to read:
- Does the t-shirt the one billionth person to ride the subway won from the MTA for being the one billionth person to ride the subway say "I Was the One Billionth Subway Rider and All I Got Was This Stupid T-Shirt, a Glasses Cleaning Cloth, and a $100 OMNY Gift Card"?
- A loose horse forcing a cargo plane to land at JFK sounds like the plot of an awesome direct-to-streaming movie for kids.
- Tensions remain high on college campuses as three Jewish students sue NYU for failing to sufficient combat antisemitism; meanwhile, student groups at Columbia reactivated the school's pro-Palestine Apartheid Divest coalition, and one student is suing a group called Accuracy in Media after they flashed his name on a "doxxing truck" on the university's campus.
- Eric Adams is going to do "whatever the law allows" him to do to pay for his legal fees in the face of a looming federal corruption investigation—including, possibly, dipping into campaign funds.
- Please Kathy, fix the Amtrak!
- Oh, sweet: New York state is still pumping millions of taxpayer dollars into a South Buffalo Tesla factory for some reason.
- The battle for New York state redistricting is officially on ahead of the 2024 election cycle.
- The NYPD says radio encryption is all about keeping their officers safe, but the City Council will hear some arguments to the contrary at a hearing on Monday.
- Migrant families are warning each other about the shitty conditions at the shelter on Floyd Bennett Field.
- Public school parents across the city are pissed that Adams suggested they volunteer to sub in for laid off school safety officers, and Brooklyn parents are coming down from a drug trash-induced freakout.
- And finally, this breakdown of why lobster rolls cost more than $30 in New York City right now made me hungry—but for something like, way cheaper.
