Skip to Content
Morning Spew

At Least I’ll Always Have the Chandelier Furniture Factory Outlet

And more links for your Friday.

10:20 AM EDT on May 5, 2023

(Hell Gate)

It can get lonely in Bushwick. The armpit around the Wyckoff L stop is desolate and devoid of crosswalks. Elsewhere's wristband payment system makes you feel like less than a person, and the wares at the various warehouse-shaped microbreweries that dot the boulevard can all start to taste the same. If you just saw your favorite rapper at Elsewhere's Zone One, you might be tempted to Uber home, but there's only one oasis truly offered to the late-night pedestrians coming out of Jupiter Disco or Honey's: the facade of the George Versailles Chandelier Factory and Furniture Outlet.

A vision of old-world opulence, the storefront glows nightly, its chaise lounges and chandeliers as inviting as any prince's palace. May its lights never dim. 

On Tuesday night, I left a scene-y magazine party at Elsewhere feeling empty. "IDK what I'm doing here," I texted the friend who had ditched me for a 20-mile bike ride. 

"20 mile bike ride," was all he replied. I stumbled past the smokers and onto Johnson Avenue. Was all hope lost? I turned the corner onto Flushing, and there it was: hope, chandeliers, furniture, and a promise that everything will end up alright in the end. 

"I don't know how to ride a bike," I responded. "You have to teach me." 

"Sure."

Lights at the end of the tunnel.

And now for some links:

Thanks for reading!

Register or log in to continue.

See all subscription options.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter

More from Hell Gate

The Testimony of Fatboi Sharif

At a recent show in NYC, the Rahway rapper welcomed an audience to his world.

May 30, 2023

Get Ready for a Hot No Lifeguard Summer

And other links to start your bummer summer.

May 30, 2023

Flying Squirrels? NYC’s Got ‘Em

And sometimes, they visit your fire escape.

May 29, 2023

Hell Gate Debates the 2023 Song of the Summer

Fans of dry sherry cocktails and Fleetwood Mac must tune in.

May 26, 2023
See all posts