All the Best Knish Headlines We Didn’t Use

Behold the care and joy we put into the top of every story.

9:10 PM EDT on June 15, 2022

Carvings in a tree at Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx (Alan Chin / Hell Gate)

Good afternoon! What a brilliant Wednesday, and what a brilliant reader you are, subscribing to our delectable, exclusive email morsels. Please tell a friend to do the same, right now.

On Tuesday, we were blessed to publish a terrific blog post by Jason Diamond about knishes. (Well, it was also about the hardcore band Agnostic Front, and Rudy Giuliani, and how sweeping municipal policy decisions can destroy the tangible things about New York City that you love, so that you'll have to construct a separate version of the city in your head if you ever want to visit the place you once knew—it's good!)

Coming up with headlines is a collective process here at Hell Gate: Someone starts and we all chime in until the best headline wins. Jason's piece presented a unique and delightful opportunity to use "knish," and we leapt at the chance to get weird. While a more straightforward headline eventually won out (this is the internet, after all) we do want you to witness the care and joy that we put into the top of every story. Without further ado:

It’s Always Darkest Before the Knish Dawn

The Knish is Kaput

Nothing Knish Can Stay

Remix to Knishion (Poppin' Fresh Out The Kitchen)

Knish-ion Impossible

The Ish With Knishes

Don't Stop Believin' (In NYC Knishes)

Wishin' I Was Knishin'

Whoever Has the Last Knish, Turn the Lights Out

The Knish Has Left the Building

Knish Elegy

Godspeed You Knish Emperor

Knish? Kfinished

Say a Starchy Prayer for the Knish

Knish Knowing Ya

We're Just a Breath Away From the Knishaissance

Kiss Knishes Goodbye

Knish Sink (This Headline is a Palindrome)

A Kiss for the Knish

I Got 99 Knissues But a Knish Ain't One

I Got 99 Problems But No Decent Knish

Sunrise, Sunset, of the Knish

Knish Don't Kill My Vibe

Wow. Okay. Feel free to stand up, walk around, soak all that in. Have a glass of water. Breathe.

On Monday, we published a story by Brandon Doerrer about how global heating is affecting the gigantic, gorgeous trees of Woodlawn Cemetery in the Bronx. The pictures that photographer Alan Chin took were so fantastic, we thought we'd drop a few more in this newsletter for our subscribers, as a treat. Restore yourself in their leafy embrace!